Movie	Chicago
Guest Reviewer	Michelle
Nutshell	Murderesses get out of jail terms by fancy lawyering. And the OJ trial was...WHEN?
Good Things	Sparkly costumes. John C. Reilly. No Christine Baranski solo.
Bad Things	The worst acting of any major film this year. Actors who can't sing. Actors who sing so badly that they just give up in mid-line and SPEAK THE WORDS. Dreadful editing. Atrocious direction. Great songs RUINED. Dream sequences. No Hugh Jackman or Kevin Spacey, who actually CAN sing.
Features	Anorexic Renee Zellweger. Queen Latifah looking bad. Richard Gere tap-dancing!!!! A shot of Zellweger very tiny in the upper right corner of the screen, "singing". (I'm so not joking.) She was so skinny, I almost thought she'd blow away. (Was hoping.) Whole lotta razzle dazzle and no substance. In fact, it's just disgusting.
Uncomfortable Moments	From the first frame to the last. Every moment of this Chicago parade to Oscar glory. May it not win one award.
Notable	Ok, if I had to pick one decent thing about this dreck, Zeta-Jones does ok, even though her best number was cut.
Best Part	Kander and Ebb's songs were cool in 1975, when this was on Broadway the first time. The writing of the Cell Block Tango is smart.
Best Line	"I love them for loving me. None of us got enough love in our childhoods. And that's showbiz, kids."
Crowns	ZERO crowns